And have to say its quite overwhelming, in the 5 months ive been off, ive changed, my life has changed, the whole world has changed. There is so much to think about to prepare for 6 days times.
Reset my clock, the alarm, reset my eating food routine- mealtimes have changed, what i eat has changed. My activity. No more following live full body workout timetable, will have to fit it in after work in the afternoons/ evenings.
Need to check work clothes, go back to wearing proper shoes/ footwear, no more jamma days, no more slippers/ flip flops & shorts. Will my work clothes still fit, do l want to wear the same drab set of clothes again. ?!! Wearing a coat again.
Since lockdown i got in the habit- its a weird one i know, but i refused to wear black underwear & black socks. I put those away & began wearing white & colours & only homemade knitted socks. I stopped wearing make up, i stopped using deodorant- skanky i know, but i wasnt in contact with other people so didnt 'need' to do these things. There is a difference between 'having to ' do/ wear something and 'needing / wanting to'. And i chose not to. I gave my body, mind & skin a breather from chemicals.
Ive had to think alot today about what ' i will need' to do in order to return to the work place. I will make lists & start the 'new work routine/ timetable' tomorrow giving myself mentally & physically time to adjust. Getting woken by an alarm not the daylight & neighbours. Get up, get washed, pee, daily weigh in, get dressed, hair, make up, make bed. Make breakfast, feed cats, make packed lunch, pack work bag, leave house an hour after waking in order to walk casually - calmly into the work place in order to start my 'routine' on time. Fortunately the pupils & term time doesnt start for another 4 weeks but still there will im sure be meetings, new things to think about. New regimes. New products.
Old things to clear up from being left stagnant for 5 months, 5 months of now dead bugs who've being partying in my absence!! New people may be.
Experiencing the seasons again, 5 months worth have been missed & only witnessed through glass. When all this began is was the start of Spring & the world was emerging from the dark Winter months, the trees were naked, now they're in full bloom, heavily laden with leaves which as i return into the world of work will slowly begin to start shredding & dropping, changing into the glorious Autumnal colours.
I hope that what normally happens within a week of being back at work that the old complacencies, dont just fall back into place. Im different, the world is different- i need to stay fresh & new & aware of the differences. I want fresh new ways - if l have to go back to this working life. i want to feel excited & encouraged to be back, i want to want to be there- not counting down the years to when i can stop doing it & stop that routine again.
Ive liked this pre-retirement lockdown period, ive learned alot about myself, ive adjusted & coped/ dealt with the trials its thrown at me- 3 deaths, living alone with no physcial contact no physcial conversations, made a lot of virtual friends whom i now treasure as 'actual' friends. They were / are safe people. Life was/ is safe when you're in a locked up environment on your own. Like being a prisoner really but you do have choices & some freedoms!!
Am sure my brain will stay in overdrive until next week & D-day. Trial runs will commence tomorrow to get me in the right mindset. .....
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