Monday, 21 July 2014


Don't do it!!. In love, thinking of having a baby, think you and them will last forever.
 Don't do it!
 Because that cute, tiny, helpless little smiler, will soon have tantrums, run you ragged, make you fat, make you crave solo live and break your heart. 
Don't do it!
You can nurture them all you like and for the majority of the time they will be your pride and joy, your trophies to life, your reason for living, loving and breathing.
But, then they'll move into their twenties and thirties, leave home, leave you and hate you.
Don't do it!
They will blame you for everything, for your mistakes, for your bad relationships. You were meant to know way in advance that the person you loved, your soul mate would turn into your worst enemy overnight - they'll blame you for that. For the way they are now, how they think, how they live- that's your fault.
Don't do it!
You should now stop your life and be at their beck and call always. That little bundle of joy will eventually avoid you, wont talk to you, will make you feel worthless.
Don't do it!
They will make you feel guilty, take you from positive to negative in a single breath, make you doubt why you ever had them.
Don't do it!
All the blood, sweat, copious tears of joy and sadness, laughter, sleepless nights, unconditional love will vanish in a heartbeat, as they hurt you and break you.

Don't do it!

Monday, 14 July 2014


So you remember being 17 - you'd left school for the freedom of the "adult world", excited that you would no longer be under the restraint of authority. Only to find when you got there, you were still to young to "officially" drink, smoke and have "adult" fun.

You were in the "grey waiting room" waiting to be 18 or 21 with the key to the door of life.  Well guess what, when you get to 50+ if you're still single, widowed or divorced you will find yourself back in the "grey waiting room.!!

At 50 you have reached the top of the adult mountain, most stuff from now on is downhill. You'll be to old to go clubbing, you'll feel to old to be seen anywhere with young trendy people- whom you saw as young tikes in the playground.. Instead you'll prefer to be home by 10pm back in the silent security box called home.

It will be assumed that you have retired on a lovely fat pension which will also be assumed that you spend on exotic holidays either for just you on your lonesome or for you as a rekindled loving couple.

If you don't fit those moulds then you will be relegated to isolation, silence and unaffordable luxuries like holidays and socialising. Socialising will become an alien concept because even though "you're over the hill" you will lack the same lack of confidence and self esteem that you lacked at 17. The old grey waiting room rears its head again.

Of course once you have reached the retirement age of 60+ and become a Golden Oldie a whole new world opens up. Free stuff by the bucket load, discounted lunch clubs, travel, holidays, tv, prescriptions.

In the grey waiting room you begin to rethink things, rethink life, become slovenly when once you were organised and clean, walking around naked has a different concept now- things have gone south in the body world or spread beyond recognition.  Its no longer seen as sexy more like "really....pass the iron"!!!  But you don't care.
When once you craved hustle and bustle and enjoyed it, now you endure silence and isolation.  In the grey waiting room even silence becomes to silent. You talk out loud to me, myself and l.

You do of course gain freedom, to eat, watch and do what ever you want when ever you want. You are free to be free in your grey waiting room. Unless you have grown up adult children- a contradiction in terms.

Whilst you are technically still the adult parent you become the babysitter of the next generation, the house sitter when they take their exotic holidays, the animal carer. You will still be called upon to mend broken hearts, fix medical ailments and sub their wallets until payday.  But heaven forbid if you ask the same in return. For them to care for what was once their treasured pet, that they would love forever, which is now relegated to the grey waiting room with you in the home that was once the "family" home. Only to be showered with over zealous affection on the now occasional visits. In their eyes you are expected to have left everything and kept everything as it was- in their eyes there is no grey area anymore because they aren't 17 anymore.  They will be embarrassed by your presence in the company of other people, by your dress sense, your topics of conversation, they will make fun at your expense, ridicule that you can no longer walk as fast as them, can no longer do the things you used to do, belittle your very real frugal lifestyle. They may not even like you. Because they are no longer in their grey waiting room. 

In your grey waiting room you are still a parent, a person of standing in your own right, but the role is changing fast and soon you will become the cared for like the child they used to be.

In the grey waiting room the shades like the book and your hair will become 50 shades of grey.