Isn't it strange how things pan out?
Its 1.10am on a morning where l should be sound asleep as l have work in 6 hours time. I am wide awake with my head full of "stuff"!
Nearly 2 years ago my youngest turned 18 and as the clock struck midnight on the start of a new year, the sense of relief l had was a little over whelming.
Don't get me wrong, l adore and love my 4 children unconditionally, as any Mother does. But l had through circumstance been a lone parent for much of my babies upbringing. There had been highs, lows, tears, tantrums, laughter, love and chaos. In a house full of children. Five differently connected people with five different ways of thinking, 5 different personalities, 5 sets of friends and lifetime goals. Yet as head of this family l had now come to the near end of my job as a full time 24 hour 365 day Mother.
My youngest turned 18 and there was just me to think about, be responsible for, there was time for me to think about me!
There was no more chaos, there was actually a void, an empty nest as it were. I began to think about my future life, now that l had this sense of relief and freedom. I thought of how l would re-gain my confidence and "do stuff" that l wanted to do.
Then l felt alone and redundant, suddenly the end of the journey had arrived when l could off load the pressure and the burden of being a lone parent. Of being the only adult in our family house. I downsized the house, continued to work with no ties or home time commitments.
Yet 2 years on that is all about to change, big style! We - yes the royal 'we' will move back to a bigger house, l will continue to work as one must, but part time this time round, in order to maintain the frugal lifestyle in which l have chosen to live. I will however not be the lone adult, but will be joined once more by not one but 2 of my 'babies', grown up ones at that. And 'we' will raise a new generation together as a united family unit - like the Mediterraneans do - one big happy family once more.
I am older, wiser, content, frugal, with my whole year completely mapped out, thus starting a whole new chapter of my life. I am, l can see, not destined to live my life completely alone, yet to be once more or is it continually a Mother and Grand mother.