Friday, 25 May 2012


Pull yourself together, ring me anytime, let it go over your head, that's the end of it now, talk to me.

These are all comments made to people who have 'a depressive episode'. Not just an off day, but real sunken, can't cope feelings. The depth of these feelings varies from person to person, from situation to situation. One persons low is not the same as anothers, but the desperate despair we feel probably is.

The isolated, lonely feeling- even though you are surrounded by people.

The tears from little trickles to monsoons which join forces with gut wrenching, heart breaking pain which leaves you puffy eyed and physically drained.

The IBS symptoms because some one has come to the door or phoned you.

The psychological reasons which make what you are feeling logical but you still feel them.  Feeling hurt, desperate, lonely, panicky etc doesn't stop you being intelligent enough to know you have a problem.  You know that group of people you're grieving over is irrational, but they represent a whole heap of things, its not them you're grieving over, its the memories they arouse, its the realisation that, that chapter in your life is going to end, it has to end to make way for the new exciting chapter that is about to start.  You know that. But you still feel stupid, like no one will under stand, no one will 'get it'.  Its not stupid, it doesn't make you stupid, the grief makes you feel stupid, which brings you down. Its OK to hurt, when something in your life that was/ is important to you, that you have a passion for, ends.

Everyone deals with these events differently, in their own way, there is no wrong or right way.

It all becomes a problem when it gets to much to handle alone. That's when the cry for help needs attention.

Very sadly, sometimes these cries go unheard, until it is to late.

You 'cant pull  yourself together' because you don't have the emotional strength, you don't know how, you don't know what to do.

You can't 'ring at anytime' because you feel you will disturb the helper, they didn't actually mean anytime, you don't want to put the helper out.

'Let it go over your head', stupid comments/ remarks that niggle at you, that play on your mind, when you are alone, that fester. You know they are pathetic, not important. But they're still there, they were still made.

'Thats the end of ot', you've had your tantrums, your tears, your alcohol infused hissy fit, 'get over it'.

Mentally when you're low, depressed, grieving etc you can not do any of these, you can not tell some one how low you feel, how you are hurting inside. You can hide in your home, or go away, or lose yourself to substances. But faced once more with reality you are back at square one.

You can not physically lift the phone to tell your boss you aren't coming in. Texting/ emailing helps, because you are not facing or hearing a real person. Just because you have no outward physical symptoms doesn't mean you are not ill, doesn't mean you are skiving off work.

At what point do you go and get help, do you venture into the outside in your unkempt puffy eyed state to face your GP or who ever helps you and say "l have a mental health  problem" ...HELP ME

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