Hi everyone, it's been a while since I posted. The last few trips I've done have been to Monmouth to visit cousins, using the coach trip for transport. Then I visited Montacute House, which was closer to home than I'd realised. I was joined by JJ again, and we had an enjoyable wander around with a few laughs thrown in. He is always good company. And whilst neither of us mind wandering alone agreed it's always nice to have company to comment on things, observe other things and have a chat about anything. We met up again on a trip to Avebury Manor and the stone circle. I expected it to be more like Stonehenge, but soon discovered there are several stone circles in the lovely picturesque village of Avebury.
My last trip of the season was to Tredegar House and gardens, another National Trust property, again lovely safe grounds to wander around. I was joined by another local lady, S, whom I've become friends with. We have travelled a few places together. And enjoy each other's company.
Little did I know that this would be my last trip for not just the season but for the foreseeable future, as the next day I had a freak accident and broke my ankle!!!
So my next blogs will be about my recovery and journey back to my new normal over the Autumn/ Winter months.
As a fiercely independent person this set back has and is a learning curb. I spent the first 4.5 days in hospital having to hop with a Zimmer frame to the loo, having to ask to be escorted every time. This was not only hard work physically- leg would go into spasm before the "normal" leg locked and would then shake uncontrollably, and I would have to immediately sit down before recommencing my journey.
Mentally, all of that was hard. Suddenly having been used to doing everything alone, not waiting for others to help or join me, now having to ask for help, being vulnerable was and is a little soul-destroying. It's also humbling as those who truly care step up without any issues to offer genuine help.
The issue I had before being allowed home was how to get me back into my home- a first-floor flat without a lift!!!
I knew once I was back in my flat that I could cope for the next how ever many months I will be housebound. Being a crafter l knew that l can keep myself occupied. I'm used to spending days without seeing or speaking to anyone, and with the onset of Autumn/Winter months of cold and rain looming now I'll be ok.
My daughters stepped up and were brilliant; they've been into my flat to make it safe for my return. I did draw the line in them taking up the newly laid giant rug because it's under a huge, heavy sofa, and I'd bought tape to secure it to the ground at the possible trip site. The main thing that concerned me was how the flat would look if I went home to bare floors, which I know are not good under the rug. Mentally sitting in a room for 3 months with my home looking awful would take a huge toll on me. I struggle in the Ber months, as it is with S.A.D ( seasonal affective disorder), so to be housebound with it looking rough would not be good for me mentally. Indeed, I think I would have spiralled very quickly into a black hole.
I have only had one day of tears, and that was in hospital 2 days in when I kept being told I was going home, then the goalposts were changed and I stayed in. I couldn't fight the decisions because I can't walk, I don't have transport and l live alone. I had pardon the pun, no "leg to stand on"!!!
I have accepted and adapted quite quickly to my new normal. And now that I'm home have settled into my way of life. I am still hobbling around in a leopard-print cast and boot with the aid of a Zimmer frame.
My first day home l had help for a much-needed shower using a limbo bag over my leg. But since then have adapted and managed quite well alone. I had a battle with bedding initially, as my 15 tog king size duvet with top sheet was a strong contender with the leopard leg cast and boot which l have to sleep in!!. But thats been solved with the purchase of a lighter-weight double duvet and no top sheet.
I'm having to eat in the kitchen as my large sofa covers part of the doorway so I lift my Zimmer frame over it to enter. The kitchen in itself is probably the safest room for me to be in as it's small but everything is accessible safely. The New rug in the living room has actually helped with moving around, as it's cushioned my stepping.
I am actually walking about unaided a bit more every day, holding onto walls and door frames. I carry my phone with me most times to give my daughters peace of mind should I have another "fall" or encounter problems. I've managed to do a few things unaided since being home, having to rest afterwards. But the sense of achievement and the independent me needs those wins mentally.
As several people have pointed out, I'm of "an age" where I haven't fallen over l've had " a fall"!!!
I rolled my ankle getting on a bus, catching the edge of the disability ramp housing, causing me to "pop" the bone and fall like a sack of Shit!!! And being hard of hearing l actually heard the break!!!
I can not change what's happened, so as with most things in my life, I don't fight what can't be changed. im a baby boomer who grew up making do and mending. Adapting and carrying on, that's what I'm doing.
How long I'll be like this for is, at the moment, a mystery but l know it will end at some point. Whilst my toes and very probably my leg inside the cast are black and navy blue!! Ache constantly l know "this too shall pass" Carpe Diem!!!
Thanks for reading. Enjoy.
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